Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Sigmund Freud, himself appeared in my dream last night


Sigmund Freud, himself appeared in my dream last night. 

He was laughing, and knowing him to be a serious man, I was quite amused. He clarified, that recently, he has got a unique "sense-of-humor" stroke after knowing what is happening these days in a village in India.

He asked me to go to this village where Sarkar Baba had a dream of a King (who goes almost unnoticed in all history books) saying that he has left 1000 tons of Gold buried in an equally unknown village. Freud suggested that if the Baba is true and Archeological Society of India (ASI) digs out this hidden treasure, some part of this money should be used to build a village library with at least a thousand copies of his book - Interpretation of Dreams.

"Sir, it almost sounds like an advertisement of your book" I replied, “There are many issues, no one knows you here. It will be difficult for people to speak your name properly, and you want them to read your book? If I were to translate your book, where do I find a person who knows both French and Avadhi?
"Find a man who knows French and Hindi, French and English, I don’t care”, he said “at least make a library in Delhi, people in your capital will certainly know me. They may have at least heard of this book, if not read". He was depressed to see my blank face, "don’t tell me you people have not read what I wrote in the year 1900, 113 years ago, and is considered a classic almost everywhere in the world".

I ignored his last question and asked “Sir, please come to the point, what do you want from me. Why did you come in my dream, I am an ordinary man". He replied "look son, tell them I appeared in your dream and have given my entire analysis of this Baba's dream to you, and that there is no divinity involved, whatsoever”. Ha-ha, “you bet, Sir, they won’t listen to me they won’t believe me, they won’t trust me. “Why not"?  He seemed visibly upset.

I did not care and continued "Sir, they will believe me that you appeared in my dream, if they can believe in Baba's dream, they can might as well believe me too”, I took a chance, “but the problem is they might not believe in your analysis of Baba's dream”. “Why not”? “Sir, please I don’t have answers to all your questions. Stop knocking the wrong door (read head), I can’t help you, even if I want to, and no one is ever going to buy our story.”

“Lets make this story more believable. You are saying they have not heard of me or my book, they won’t believe in my research, right”? I said "Yes Sir, indeed". He continued, “ok, so tell them, the same King appeared in your dream and said he played a crude joke on you guys”. I got scared, “boss, this is a risky business, I am hurting emotions of all believers, I am crushing their aspirations of getting rich. And by the way, why don’t you reach out to the same Baba or at least some one in that village and tell them your story?

"They have all become gold diggers, they are digging ever since that Baba announced his dream, and no one sleeps anymore in that village, what do I do”? Pleaded Freud, “if no one sleeps, they won’t dream and if they won’t dream, how do I contact them again”?

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Sachin Retires

"Mein Likhega" series  

Good News: Sachin announces his retirement

Bad News: Newspapers will again carry all of his record breaking records, how he started batting even before he learnt to wear his underpants, how is a God and yet so humble, how he is still grounded (can't you see he has chosen not to even grow tall). 
How he made more money through endorsements than all the teams of the world of all the sports put together made.

So much of built up, people will go buzerk in his last test and if he manages to score a ton or whatever that is called, madness will evolve into hysteria..there will be riots in the city (whichever city, I heard all the cities are competing to host the last test, they have also applied for loans from the center to do so to make it a History).

Fans will shout, scream their lungs out, cry and will tear their clothes and then tear each others clothes and can even go beyond, who knows what can happen..I am betting on stock markets and all other markets will tumble, Finance ministry, RBI will not know what steps to take, men of sports (read cricket) will loose interest in their own lives and business. I fear fans will stop buying new clothes stop celebrating festivals, there will be no happiness, they might stop taking their baths and refuse to use any deodorants. Their women will never know what happened, so suddenly. Government will have another question to answer, why did they let it happen, emergency will be declared. There will be an overall depression.

While I am worried about only one thing, what if the Master gets a little emotional after seeing all this and decides to stay back. Horror!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Mannerless and Arrogant Reliance Staff is a Put off!!

I have been using Reliance Mobile number since 5-6 years now. I have never had this issue with their people till they changed my billing due date from 5th of a month to 29th of a month, that too without informing me.
These people at call center start calling me to pay my bill since 25th of every month. After repeat requests which eventually became very ugly conversations over a time, they still wont stop calling since 25th and will go on till you wont pay, which is not before 2/3rd in my case as I am salaried employee.
Not only this staff at Borivali Webstore is Mannerless, but is also such a put off, that eventually they have pushed me to think of abondining this number which I have been using this since a long time now. I have decided to gradually stop using this number and for my peace of mind, I dont mind even if my investment of Rs 16000 for a HTC phone goes waste in just 6 months.
Reliance staff from Borivali Webstore is succesful in pissing me of and truly wish that this company keep loosing customers purely becasaue of their customer service staff.
They nailed me down with my above decision when they sent a personn over to my house to collect a mere Rs 650 when my credit limit is more than Rs 2500..
I truly wish Reliance Communications guys be doomed, soon.